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Paramedic Nat

A Blog About My Mental Health Journey

Energy Levels and PTSD

On this episode of BrainStorm I share what it is like to try to complete tasks throughout the day with PTSD. 

 

Check Out These Books Written by Natalie Harris

Daily Lessons from Save My Life School: Here

Save My Life School: Here

 

This episode of BrainStorm is brought to you by The Homewood Health Clinic Mississauga 

 

 

BrainStorm by Natalie Harris is proudly produced by PodcastWagon.com

Lonely Cowgirl

Before The Pain Stops

Just A Single Tear

Lonely Swing

She sits waiting. Still. Being. Alone. Some leaves blowing in the wind, but she is still. Her head is heavy and she makes a puddle of tears. She wishes someone would push the swing. It hurts to raise her head. Too heavy. Too much. Then she remembers she knows how to do it alone. She remembers that her legs can move her. She remembers she has swung and done what she needed to do. The tears dry up – mud – sand – dust – gone… And so is she … gone from the lonely swing. She remembers it feels good pushing other’s on their swings. So she sits. Waiting. Not alone.

Where On This Earth Am I?

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I’ve been owning the seconds of my life. I’ve been embracing them like a small baby in my arms needing comfort and security. I’ve been recognizing the frailty of it all; time, love, honesty. So mush so that I often feel like I needed someone to talk me down, and get me out of the rainbow-coloured alleys, and butterfly chases – when just like that, a second happens to knock me down. There comes this second when I don’t want to open my eyes because a relationship is immanently about to change as trust goes over the edge of a cliff. I can’t stop it from going over – I’m just a spectator – the leap is not mine to be had. Then, during the next second, the universe is torn and my heart is on the floor bleeding hot, angry blood.

I need to own my seconds again – somehow. I need to stop thinking about the cliff. It’s airy silence reminds me that it’s not mine and that I should pay no attention to it. I had to look hard to find this relationship – and now everything is gone. Time to turn life off for another day. I can’t stop thinking about what we used to be. That I loved you – that I chose you. Now all I can see are stars in the sky reminding me that another second to be owned will come…eventually.

I will be thinking about us. And life moves on with yet another lesson I never asked for or saw coming. Like being sideswiped on the corner of a street by a speeding van – this relationship loss has hit me hard and fast. I have to stand my ground – trust deserves the splendour it is entitled to. Trust is everything. Until my tears have soaked my shirt with tears of truth, I will continue to look for another perfect breath. Chasing stars and hope. Backing away from the cliff at the very last second.

Food For Thought – Cook-Off Competition!

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Sick Not Weak’s, Michael Landsberg, and local Barrie influencers (Mayor Jeff Lehman, City Councillor Arif Khan, City Councillor Andrew Prince, 931 Radio Host Tara Dawn and PIE Magazine Founder and Editor Sandra Roberts), paired with local culinary experts, will battle it out in a cook-off competiton at Tangle Creek Golf and Country Club to raise funds and awareness for the soon to be not-for-profit, BrainStorm – Mental Health Revolution.

Click here for tickets!
BrainStorm – Mental Health Revolution, will provide mental health advocates with a platform to share their recovery and personal perspective stories through published books (Wintertickle Press/Echo Books) and speaking engagements. Every mental health voice is important and this not-for-profit will help to make many of them heard.
Get ready to see aprons and food fly at this exciting event that will include musical entertainment, a cash bar, refreshments, appetizers, door prizes and samples of the cook-off creations! The cooks will be mic’d and an MC will be commentating as you mingle and as they cook up a storm. Business casual attire.

Building Trust Again

On this episode of BrainStorm I share how I have built trust again after being hurt and how it is ok to have healthy boundaries. I also share how love is the strongest tool of all. 

 

Check Out These Books Written by Natalie Harris

Daily Lessons from Save My Life School: Here

Save My Life School: Here

 

This episode of BrainStorm is brought to you by The Homewood Health Clinic Mississauga 

 

 

BrainStorm by Natalie Harris is proudly produced by PodcastWagon.com

shedoesthecity.com

Thank you to www.shedoesthecity.com for featuring me in one of their articles. Click here to view.

The CBC Documentary AFTER THE SIRENS will air April 8th at 9pm ET and April 6th on line.

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