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Paramedic Nat

A Blog About My Mental Health Journey

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A Little ‘Good Thing, Bad Thing’

Good thing- went for a mini vacation to Vancouver

Bad thing- got a flat tire on the way to the airport

Good thing- made it to the airport with said flat tire (I didn’t notice it at first – don’t judge me) without getting into an accident

Bad thing- My rental car got a window chip

Good thing- I have insurance

Bad thing- I also have a $500 deductible

Good thing- we made it onto both flights as a standby (Caroline works for WestJet – super cheap tickets but you have to go standby)

Bad thing- the girl next to me kept dozing off towards my shoulder and it made me wonder what the airplane etiquette is in this situation – do I wake her up? Or just let her sleep on my shoulder? (Any feedback would be appreciated)

Good thing- I have CAA

Bad thing- I felt like a ding-dong not knowing how to change a tire myself

Good thing- my kids said I am the best mom in the world for taking them on a trip and that they are going to buy me a gold necklace and a Ferrari (ok – I’m paraphrasing)

Over 60% Sold Out

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Get your tickets to the Paramedic Nat’s Evening for Mental Health soon! Money raised is going to the RVH Foundation for youth mental health and #IveGotYourBack911. Special guest speakers are Michael Landsberg (founder of SickNotWeak) and Sean McCann (formerly of Great Big Sea). It will be a great night filled with music, stories of recovery, a silent auction, hot appetizers, cash bar and refreshments. Hope to see you there!

Click here for tickets.

Would You Like To Go?

If you know someone who you think might benefit from attending this event, let Jill Foster know by sending an email to jill@ivegotyourback911.com and she will draw some names for a chance to go!

Thank you Jill Foster ❤

Some of the honourable guests will include MP John Brassard and Liane Brassard, Barrie City Councillors Andrew Prince and Arif Khan, Barrie Mayor Jeff Lehman and MPP Cheri Dinovo. It’s going to be a fabulous night!

Sponsors and Donors – Thank You!

Here are SOME of the sponsors and silent auction donors for the Paramedic Nat’s Evening For Mental Health! Thank you!

For tickets go to Here

Money raised will go to the RVH Foundation for youth mental health and Ivegotyourback911.

Sussessful Book Signing

Great day today at my ‘Daily Lessons From Save-My-Life School’ book signing. Thank you to everyone!

Click Here To Buy The Book

Action!

The last three days have been a whirlwind! I have been filming with a crew for a CBC documentary on PTSD in paramedics, and it’s been very emotional. I am used to being interviewed and asked specific questions about my past experiences as a paramedic, but this documentary/interview is different because it includes my kids and AB. Yes you heard me right, after several years I finally saw the AB. We have always remained kind to one another, but lost touch after the events in my life in 2014 because well, things change, situations change, and sadly sometimes friendships change. It was lovely seeing her again – it almost felt like we picked up right where we left off, making jokes and asking about how our dogs were. Sidebar – Magyver is doing great. It was nice to have had some peaceful conversation with AB and to show her my new house. So much has changed since 2014 – but some things (like personal connections) really stay the same.

And to top the emotional roller coaster off, both of my kids were interviewed as well for the first time and hearing their input on what PTSD is, and how my sickness and injury has affected them, really put things into perspective again and ripped open a few old wounds. Hearing about how alone Caroline felt when I was at Homewood and in the hospital broke my heart. It seems like a lifetime ago that these things happened, but really they were not that long ago. They were both so young when I got really sick, and I am SO proud of their resiliency and strength through those hard times. Adam sat with cameras rolling and shared how he knows that PTSD is a ‘stress disorder’! Cue jaw drops from Caroline and I. And Caroline shared how if she does choose to pursue a life in policing that she feels stronger having been through what she has and that she would be able to use the ‘tools’ she has learned in order to maintain a healthy career. Cue tears – happy ones.

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I needed a hot bath and lots of sleep the last few days to refill the emotional well that was tapped dry, but that’s ok, it has been an amazing experience for all of us and I will never take for granted how we all got to reunite in happiness and health.

The documentary will air this April on CBC. I will keep you posted with links and more details as I learn of them.

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And cut.

 

Michael Landsberg Will Be A Special Guest Speaker!

Exciting News!~ Michael Landsberg will be a special guest speaker at my event on January 27th!

Get your tickets now as they are going fast!

Money goes to the RVH Foundation for youth mental health and IveGotYourBack911.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/paramedic-nats-2nd-annual-evening-for-mental-health-tickets-37160927334?aff=eac2

Post Traumatic Growth

On this episode of BrainStorm: I talk about my experience with post traumatic growth and how it’s possible.

Books

Daily Lessons from Save My Life School: Here

Save My Life School: Here

 

BrainStorm by Natalie Harris is proudly produced by PodcastWagon.com

 

Lost In Waiting

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We should wait…it’s nice. But oh so hard. Waiting is almost frowned upon in our society. Everything needs to be now. Faster. Yesterday. Hurry up and move through time so that you can be where you need to be tomorrow. So much rushing around…and I am very much guilty of it.

I have learned so much about mindfulness and living in the moment, but no matter how much I learn I still find myself living insatiability. Wanting to do more, be more, love more. It’s not easy living life this way, but overall, it’s all I know.

My addiction tells me to think of the years in my future without a drink rather than allow me to be without and to enjoy that astounding accomplishment. My PTSD tells me that I should be better, healthier than I am, that enough time has elapsed and that I should just know how to be ok now. My depression keeps me looking around the next corner to see if the darkness is lurking, rather than stand in the sunshine and tan in the rays of happiness. My brain just keeps on going…and going, when really it should learn to wait.

It’s a difficult balance living in the now while lunging for the future. Stretched over miles of time, my body gets thin and weak some days. But it’s who I am I suppose. The girl who lives in realms unknown. Who lives in an abyss of seconds and minutes. The girl who isn’t afraid of her last day, but who is terrified of the future. I am definitely that girl.

When I press ‘publish’, this blog will be no longer waiting. The words no longer dangling in my mind. No longer able to live in the now of the feeling of the keys under my fingers. It will be finished and I will be on to the next blog. Trying while I do, to live in the now, but lost in the second that just went by.

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